Rox (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starshowers) wrote2018-06-15 10:17 am
starshowers) wrote2018-06-15 10:17 am
(no subject)
Hey, want to know what my brain is telling me right now? No? Didn't think so.
It told me to slam my head into the staircase railing earlier. I did.
Do it again, it says. Harder. Until it finally cracks.
How hard would it be to get to the roof, it wonders? How much would it take to choke yourself with the extra cord someone left on this desk?
I think about things I've read, ways to deal with self-harm impulses, nails in palms and ice on skin. Fuck that, it says. Do some real damage, coward.
I think that I should tell myself, post on plurk, tell someone to check on me. Idiot. You aren't going to do anything, don't go bait people and beg for pity. You're wasting everyone's time. Attention whore. Dumbass bitch.
Waste of space, failure, burden, drain. Most people won't notice when you disappear.
Just die. Just fucking die already.
But you won't. Piece of shit coward.
You were a mistake.
Go away.
It told me to slam my head into the staircase railing earlier. I did.
Do it again, it says. Harder. Until it finally cracks.
How hard would it be to get to the roof, it wonders? How much would it take to choke yourself with the extra cord someone left on this desk?
I think about things I've read, ways to deal with self-harm impulses, nails in palms and ice on skin. Fuck that, it says. Do some real damage, coward.
I think that I should tell myself, post on plurk, tell someone to check on me. Idiot. You aren't going to do anything, don't go bait people and beg for pity. You're wasting everyone's time. Attention whore. Dumbass bitch.
Waste of space, failure, burden, drain. Most people won't notice when you disappear.
Just die. Just fucking die already.
But you won't. Piece of shit coward.
You were a mistake.
Go away.